Quit Despising Our Youth!

The following article may seem offensive to some older readers, but rest assured, it is only out of love that this information is presented. While I may be a little more disgruntled then I should, I feel that it is only fair that we address this difficult topic and promote the highest level of unity in the church as possible. You heard that right! Like the other articles, this article is about bridging a gap and creating a new level of unity that many churches have never experienced before.

Before we get to the challenge we all must face, let’s determine how God sees the youth of the church and how He models the relationship we ought to have with young people.

What Does God Say?

It is well known that God commands children to obey their parents. Ephesians 6:1-4 tells us that that we ought to honor our parents. There are many reasons why we should this. First off, God has placed authority on the parents over their children. Mothers and fathers are supposed to bring them up in the ways of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) and to do so in a way that will cause them not to depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). Second, we should honor them because they have more life experience than us. While we may feel like our parents don’t understand what we’re going through, the truth of the matter is they HAVE been there. When we feel frustrated by being told what to do in difficult situations, we need to have patience and realize that our parents are only trying to help. Third, our parents are instruments of God to provide us with physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing.

Equally emphasized in the text of Ephesians 6, fathers (parents) are instructed to not provoke their children to wrath. This is so important for many ways. While our children’s stresses are not the same as ours, they still experience disappointment, depression, and anxiety. They have dreams and desires and wishes and goals. They have personalities, friendships, strengths and weaknesses. And most of all, they want to be validated and respected just like adults. When thinking about the relationship we need to have with young people, consider the relationship God the Father has with the Son.

Father God and His Son

There are numerous passages we can look at in scripture that demonstrate Jesus’ divinity. We know that Jesus is God just as the Father is God. What we often do not consider though is how Jesus’ equality with God is different from God’s authority.

Jesus was equal with God. Even on earth, Jesus remained God and was just as much God as the Father. Philippians 2:6-7 shows this relationship:

“who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.” (NKJV)

As far as equality, Jesus had just as much power, authority, and wisdom as the Father. It is where the authority is placed that is different. When Jesus was on earth, He claimed that He only did what His Father authorized. Jesus said in John 12:49:

“For I have not spoken on My own authority; but the Father who sent Me gave Me a command, what I should say and what I should speak.” (NKJV)

This relationship is important for us to remember when talking to the younger generation. The Father is equal to the Son. Though the Father has authority over the Son, both are just as much God as the other. In our lives, children are just as much people as their parents. Their essence is the same, their creator is the same, and their purpose to reach others and serve is the same. The authority, however, is given to the parents. Perhaps knowing how the Father interacted with the Son will help us relate better with our children. (i.e. Matthew 3:17 “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”)

A Millennial’s Perspective: Listen up Grown-ups!

As someone who is exiting the kid stage of life, yet still in the millennial generation, I feel that I am lucky enough to see both sides of the coin. To the older generation, you probably remember in the 70’s and 80’s hearing “Kid’s these day have no respect for authority! Y’all are so self-centered and need to bla bla bla bla…” I know this is true because Socrates said the same thing in the 4th century! He is quoted to have said:

"Children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect their elders, and love talking instead of exercise.”

For as long as there have been children, parents have complained. I can just imagine the complaints Adam and Eve gave God when their son killed their other son. I will grant that much of the complaints adult give today are merited because children do in fact lack the wisdom of the older generations. However, it’s important that we stay away from discouragement and providing negative reinforcement such as:

“You don’t know anything. You’re just a kid.”

“All millennials are arrogant and entitled.”

“You’ll be a good preacher one day.”

“Maybe you can help with Ladies’ Day when you’re older.”

“You don’t have enough life experience yet.”

Instead, we should pursue to give compliments and positive encouragement like:

“You did a great job!”

“Keep up the good work!”

“I appreciate all you do, perhaps next time it would be helpful to…”

“I am so glad to have you as a brother/sister in Christ.”

“Thank you for working so hard.”

The body of Christ should not be segregated. We often go the extra mile to include people of all races and backgrounds and appreciate and encourage both men and women. But when it comes to young people, they can just hang out with each other and stick to themselves. The truth is, the youth are just as much members of the body of Christ as the adults and should thus be involved in the body. This is something I hope to continue to promote long after my kid’s graduate college.

A Millennial’s Perspective: Listen up Young Folks!

While it would be helpful for adults to be more encouraging and accepting of us, we have got to work hard. Just because we are young doesn’t mean we should let the older folks be the only ones involved in the church. Even greater than that, we must not get the interpretation that we are not just as much charged by God to follow His commands and serve others. Being a young Christian is not about hanging out with your friends, it’s about serving a God who loves you. While you may be annoyed by the instruction of your parents and other adults they actually do know better than you. Trust them and if you want respect you must respect them first.

There are two things I want to point out to us young people. First, don’t even give grown-ups the chance to despise you youth! 1 Timothy 4:12 says:

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (NKJV)

The point of this passage is that we are supposed to be examples to the older generation just as we are to our peers and even under scrutiny we are to shine our light. In truth, if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, you’re really not going to receive as much scrutiny at all! I’m telling you from experience that older folks will appreciate you more and will treat you like an equal if you are doing your best to serve God and the church. Rather than getting upset by what the adults tell you, make it so they don’t have a reason to complain. Do your best to present yourself a workman of God!

Secondly, there are always going to be those people who say things like “You’re just a kid.” When it comes to these people, just be like Christ. Jesus taught in Matthew 5 that we are supposed to love our enemies and bless those who curse you. I certainly hope there aren’t enemies in the church, but in case there are you must still love them. This passage teaches us to do good even if we don’t get anything out of it. The point of doing good to others is that it’s the right thing to do.

Let’s Just Get Along

No matter how old or how young you are, every member of the church is a member of the body. We need to respect each other and love each other as we love and care for our own bodies. Why not resolve to show your appreciation to someone in another generation this Sunday. Let’s aim to treat the body of Christ the right way and not complain so much about each other. If we quit complaining and despising the young and old, we may even learn something.

In love and in Christ,

Zack